Guilt

As a cancer survivor, I am extremely grateful to be alive and healthy. However, there is a part of me that feels guilty for beating this disease while others I have gotten close to never will. It's a strange feeling to be happy and grateful for my life while also feeling sad and guilty at the same time.

I remember sitting in the waiting room during my chemotherapy treatments, surrounded by other patients who were also fighting cancer. We would exchange small talk and share our stories, but there was always a sense of sadness and fear hanging over us. Some of those patients didn't make it, and it breaks my heart to think about them.

I know that I shouldn't feel guilty for surviving cancer, but it's hard not to. I often wonder why I was lucky enough to beat this disease while others weren't. Was it because I caught it early? Did I have access to better treatment options? It's hard to say, but I can't help but feel like I was given a second chance at life.

I try to honor those who didn't make it by living my life to the fullest and cherishing every moment. I know that life is precious and can be taken away at any moment, so I try not to take it for granted. But even with this mindset, the guilt still lingers.

Being a cancer survivor is a complex emotional journey. On one hand, I am so grateful for my life and the chance to continue living it. On the other hand, I feel guilty for surviving while others didn't. It's a difficult feeling to navigate, but I know that I'm not alone in this experience.